The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,500 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 42 trips to carry that many people.
These are messages from the inmates at Mission Creek Women’s Correctional Center. I am reminded how grateful I am to do work that is my passion. I feel compelled to share them with you…
From Marsha:
“Last night I had a phone conversation with my parents that reduced me to tears. They are emotionally unavailable. I cried myself to sleep and woke up at 4 a.m. crying hot, frustrated tears. I had no intention of making it to this workshop. I felt so down, helpless and sad. I sucked it up and got ready for the class, thinking that I’d just sit and go through the motions.
What happened instead was that I received inspiration, the knowledge that some of my feelings and frustrations were not only valid but [also] natural. I needed to see/hear someone (Laura) share and represent that there can be rebirth. I’ve never been married but I can only imagine the pain and heartache and emotional/physical toll a divorce takes on a person, and to know that you can come out on the other side, whole stronger, happier and with a smile. I needed to see that to know it can happen.
The idea behind the [WWISH] workshop is awesome. The support goes so far, further than Laura can imagine. We also have the chance to share what we learned with the other women who were not able to attend. Thank you for “paying it forward” U Rock. Keep up the good work”.
From Angela:
“I received a lot of information regarding self-awareness for my self and wellness. Now I know I can make a successful transition after being locked up for 5 years. Thank you”.
From Pamela:
I think that [I would like to get] in contact with your program [WWISH] upon release to find help getting mentors in our areas, to help us with the issues we face [after] release. Thank you so much for helping us, I so appreciate everything.”
From Connie: aka: Motorcycle girl
I would like to keep in touch with you. I am very serious about my recovery and my education and career. I’m not real sure how to get started, so upon release my wish is that you could possibly point me in the right direction. I know my life goals are obtainable, I just need a little help getting there!
Thank you for sharing. If enough people keep sharing their own experiences….others will have hope. You inspire me!”
From Lisa:
“I appreciate Laura sharing her stories and her words of encouragement. I’m happy to have been a part of this group”.
From Alissan:
“I appreciate very much being able to create a positive network for support that I can reach out to upon my release. I’m scared/anxious and it eases me to know I have some place to contact for some resources and support. It’s very empowering. Thank you so much. I need social/community support upon release and help to network into my chosen career path”.
From Rebecca:
“I thank you for the information [and] for helping me see that I can make it! It would be nice if you were able to have more classes.
[I would} like to get information for people that are from east [of the mountains]. I am from Tri-Cities. I would like to help you when I get out, to be able to help women in my county. My goals are to go speak in my county jail, because many women return there. I was there for ten months and during that time many [women] returned 2 to 4 times. It is hard because there is nowhere to go upon release. Thank you”.
From Lizzie:
“I think it would be most useful if you began to comprise a list of resources for other Washington counties [and] go state wide.
I also think it would be helpful if you networked with the other organizations and volunteers that come into to the prison to see and find out what their classes and programs offer and do”.
From Samantha:
“Very specific class. I liked the instructor and I liked the class. Thank you for your time and consideration.”
From Anna:
“I would like to [find] more resources [in the] Spokane/Tri City area. [The workshop] did show me how to expect more from myself J”
From Tonya:
“I would like to thank Laura Pavlou for her care and concern. I wasn’t feeling to motivated because I’m currently going through loss of loved ones and much more, but by the end of the class I felt better. My spirituality came back to surface. Thank you! Very Inspirational”!
From Shelena:
“Thank you for coming. When I get out I may get a hold of you in a year J I am looking forward to [the WWISH workshop] in Oct.
This [workshop] helped me look into what I really want. If you would ask me before [the workshop] I really did not know. So thanks”.
From Jennifer:
“I need women to be available that will help me re-enter society, identify the resources available, and help me with the emotions involved in the process of leaving my husband or staying with him. He is in prison too. Maybe someone [can] help with mediation. I’m really confused about how I would like to handle that situation. Thank you”.
From Amanda:
“I think that this is a wonderful workshop. We as women need more things like this. I have no support in my hometown. I have nothing, no home, clothes, hygiene products, nothing, and it really stresses me out. Can you help me find resources”?
From Maria:
“I’ve enjoyed this positive class. Brings my future more active. I will succeed. Your energy is powerful Laura! J Thank you”.
From April:
“I think it was great to have us look forward in our lives. Gives us hope that we still can change our lives. Thank you, it was great”!
From Latoya:
“I enjoyed the workshop. It helps give me direction a direction to go when I get out. I know that there is help out there. Most important, this program will slim my chances of coming back to jail and prison because there are places and people that can help me and my children. It may take awhile for it to happen but I know if I stay consistent in helping myself by doing the foot work with some of these programs, the resources will come through. I am thankful for the help that is out there”!
From Maggie:
I like this class [WWISH]. I was enlightened by it too. It’s nice to know that there [are] people out there who want to help us”.
There are more messages like these but I think you get the idea. Every one of them sends a powerful message… they want resources and connection so that they can feel empowered and become what they envision for themselves. Who doesn’t? I am honored to have the opportunity to work with such deserving, remarkable individuals.
I hear you, I see you, I support you, YOU are powerful!
Laura
Last Friday, I, (WWISH), held another workshop at Mission Creek Correctional Center for Women. I don’t have a lot to say about it yet… I still feel like I am reeling over the forty women who shared their stories and their intentions for the future. What I know is true is that we are not our past, we define ourselves by what we do in the future. All of the women I connected with that day have the ability to do everything they intend to do. And I know that if they get the support they need and the resources to accomplish their goals they will become a force that will change all of us for the better… I will continue to persevere to make that happen for them. Laura
WWISH held a workshop for women who were re-entering society after incarceration.
“I grew up cooking heroine with my dad and shooting my mom up.”
These are the words from a woman who spent over eight years of her life in prison. She was incarcerated at 19 years old. She said that when she was a kid she wanted to be successful but she didn’t’ know how or what it looked like.
Last Saturday, WWISH facilitated another workshop at the Mission Creek Correctional Center for Women, MCCCW. Many of the women we worked with that day are going to be out in months, weeks, and even days. They are going to re-enter the lives they left behind before prison.
According to a recent report from the Justice Department on incarceration in the United States, the average recidivism rate is 67.5 percent.
In December of 2010, the Department of Corrections released a newsletter explaining that $270 million worth of cuts will be implemented over the next three years in Washington State. These cuts include staff, offender rehabilitation programs, and community corrections programs.
Women in prison are a growing population. Since the year 2000 the percentage of women in prison has grown at almost twice the rate of men. Currently there are well over a million women prisoners in the United States and more than 100,000 prisoners are being released each year without any form of community support, despite the fact that post-release services have been shown to reduce recidivism (Women in Prison Project).
The average national cost of incarceration is $43,250, for one inmate (Vera Institute).
Interestingly, in a study by the Pew Center, Michigan’s recidivism rate dropped 18.2 percent between 2004 and 2007. Pew states that this is most likely due to the Michigan Re-entry Program launched in 2005. The program offers housing assistance, job placement and counseling.
Additionally, in a recent article by Karen Bouffard, Detroit News, she highlights Michigan’s success rate, and quotes Russ Marlan, head of the Executive Bureau with the State Department of Corrections.
“We’ve tried to focus on what actually reduces crime and sometimes that’s contrary to what people might think. You might think imposing greater penalties and tougher conditions is what is going to lower crime, (instead) what we have tried to do is be smart on crime and do what we’ve seen work in other states,” said Marlan.
Being smart on crime is reducing the need for crime by making sure that ex-offenders have resources and support when they get out including medications, housing, job assistance, re-training, mentorship programs, counseling and a support system.
What I believe is that children, who grow up without anyone to show him or her what “success” is, continue to do what they know. Behavior is not who they are or who they have the potential to become.
With role models who demonstrate their own sense of empowerment and show pro-active lifestyle choices, former child victims, who are now adults, can learn tools, gain confidence, and change the lifestyle choices they make for the better.
I also believe that it is up to us to ensure that the resources are available to the people who need it. This is not about hand-outs, this is about opportunities so individuals can become successful contributing members of society rather than a threat to society and a $43,250, for one inmate, detriment.
My hope is that WWISH can position itself with the current social service organizations that interact with re-entry women and begin to change statistics one woman at a time.
If you are interested in learning more about WWISH programs, please contact me.
My breast felt like it was on fire. I felt drugged and itchy all over. The nurse wheeled me out of the first recovery room, a place they put you right after surgery, into another recovery room that I would stay in for several hours before I went home.
I told the attending nurse that I was in pain and I felt itchy. She said the itch was because of the fentanyl they gave me when I woke up. She put an ice bag on my breast but never looked under my hospital gown to see my wound. Her movements where fast… her attitude was irritated. She said she’d give me some demerol and proceeded to inject it into my IV.
Now I was totally doped up and still experiencing severe pain. I felt like my worst fear was coming true… the pain.
Over the years, I have learned to articulate what I need and ask for it. I wasn’t feeling like this nurse was hearing me. I remembered that before surgery, the intake nurse, suggested that I don’t hesitate to ask for what I need while in the recovery room. She said no one would send me home until the pain was manageable.
Stating my truth about the pain was not motivated by the idea of getting stoned out of my mind. I actually have never liked the feeling I get when on narcotics. All I wanted was something to take away the burning feeling. And because my nature is to believe in solutions to every problem, I wasn’t about to settle on pain.
I asked the nurse if it would make more sense to give me the drug that I was going home with rather than the drugs she was giving me that weren’t working, and I wasn’t going to take with me later anyway? She looked at me with consistent irritation and gave me two pills.
Thank goodness, soon after, Sheri, the relief nurse came on shift, and “Nurse Ratched” went off shift!
Sheri explained to me that my body was in shock, and she promised that she would not send me home until the pain was manageable. She gave me small doses of fentanyl in the IV… very slowly. She was kind, present, and very attentive.
Finally the pain subsided and I felt pleasantly buzzed instead of drugged out of my mind.
I went home at 5:00 with very little pain, and a nice glow. I was able to sleep all night.
The next day, I took the pain meds as directed, and by Sunday morning Advil was sufficient. My fear of not being able to handle the pain did not come true.
I have three separate wounds where they took out the two lumps and the lymph node. I do not have a matched pair now, but nothing I can’t live with. My doctor did a great job in making it ascetically … not so bad. My fear of disfigurement did not come true.
The surgery was on Friday and my follow up appointment was the next Thurs. That was hard. The fear of having more cancer was stressful. My vision for my life does not include more time fighting cancer. I visualized my doctors words over and over in my head, “We got all the cancer”.
When she came into the examining room she was chanting “Good news”. I felt an immediate lightness that was so profound it took my breath away. Then my doctor said, “We got all the cancer”. I cried with joy!
My next step is radiation, which I will find out what my options, regarding how long the treatment is, on Friday the 15th. But the worst is over, no more cancer news.
My life will move forward and my intention is to keep the lightness in my body forever. I have learned another level of letting go. My body will heal and be better because of this experience.
Now I can focus on what I love.
Laura
Friday, I have surgery for breast cancer. My surgeon is taking out two lumps and part of my sentinel lymph node.
When I think about what my biggest fear is, it is not the fear of losing a battle to cancer. I know I am a survivor and I have more life to live.
What I fear the most, right now, is pain after surgery. My breast is still hurting after three weeks of healing from the last biopsy, so I can only imagine what it will feel like when my doctor takes chunk’s, my doctors word choice, out of my breast. And I am concerned about how I will feel when I see my post surgery breast. No more matched set.
For some reason, maybe because of my diagnosis, I have been having lots of thoughts about aging lately as well. I realize now that everything is different. I don’t like the wrinkles I see on my face or the loose skin and dark spots on my body. I see the image I have of myself changing dramatically. I try to take in that notion of aging gracefully, and sometimes I can, but mostly, lately, I feel tired and worn out.
Recognizing my fears and my feelings, I also know the truth; I have a choice in how I approach this life experience, cancer, pain… and aging.
In my work, I talk a lot about choices. There are so many good choices that we can make to create a path that enhances our lives. We can choose good people, experiences, lifestyle, education, and careers. And we can choose to make money and act responsibly. We can also choose to be good role models to others as well as kind, generous, loving, and compassionate… We don’t choose cancer, pain, or aging.
In my younger years, I didn’t know how to make choices to make my life different. Somehow, I got a message early on that we do not have choices to change our life once we realize it’s not what we really had planned. Instead, I understood that I just needed to make the best of it. Looking back, I realize how powerless I felt.
After years of feeling powerless, I finally made some choices that changed my life. They were baby step choices at first but they made a big difference. This ignited a feeling of empowerment in me. And from that place my life started changing in ways that I had never thought possible.
I don’t believe in luck. I believe that when we make good choices miracles happen.
I also believe that everything happens for a reason. Right now, it doesn’t feel like I have many choices regarding pain, cancer, and aging, but the truth is…. I do have a choice in how I treat the cancer, move through the pain, and embrace aging. I believe that all of the choices I have made in this life got me here… this very place. And this, like everything else, is an opportunity for something greater.
I am in charge of creating my experience.
Laura
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